who is hiding in that body
that dry vessel
which you are smothered in
pushed in by time
what neurons misfire
tongue that won’t wag
fingers that won’t grip
eyes which are clouded by dementia
who is in there?
in that body that
breathes
eats
moves
lives?
skin transparent
veins visible and countable
thick and ropy
hair sparse and thin
gray
black
white
coarse
baby fine
baby.
that’s what you are
innocent to who you are
where you are
what you used to be
is it a living death?
do you know that you suffer?
or is it sweet oblivion of your twilight years
and it is only us who remember what you once were that suffer?
labored breathing
labored living
are you weary?
is there rest in your mind?
or is it unnecessary to rest
when you can no longer tax yourself that way again?
dumb and deaf
silent, mute
babbling, incoherent
constantly moving
never stirring
what makes your hands so sticky?
it is a remembrance of the meal you had
that lingers on your face and clothes
it is the saliva from the corners of your mouth you can’t control
do you feel those tears sliding down your face?
do you even know why you are crying them?
do you ever reminisce about who you were?
do you hate who you are?
can you tell the difference?
is there a person paralyzed in you
who can see the invisible barrier
which separates comprehension from ignorance
but cannot flail your bony, knarled fists against it? to communicate
retaliate
but are there
smiles to be had?
laughter to be voiced?
days for you that aren’t stretched into eternity’s
or days that you can remember at all?
i can only go on believing that in that vessel there is a spark
a vital part of you that needs to be
touched
loved
spoken to and needed
even though I might not know you need me in return