PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

I cannot believe the number of things people try to hide thinking full well you will find out about them.  I found something the other day that I wasn’t supposed to even know about and here I went again straight into depressed I cannot believe it land.  Felt good that I had my family yet upset over a moment where I was having to hold my mother all day on Saturday over someone else telling her the news I thought I had brought to her attention however since I had not been given a definitive answer she felt as though she was not getting one either. Of course it didn’t help much getting an answer from one of my exes that she wasn’t especially fond of. Especially in the parking lot at Wal-Mart on her daily exercise moment. Our pastor spoke on anger this past weekend and he said that he was speaking to himself also. In my mind he was taking a hammer to my head pounding in the point sharp as could be. He said one thing that particularly stuck in.  “Love does not keep record of past wrongs”. I went home and cried over a situation I’m in. I then today my therapist was not to gentle in her words as I sat in her office crying. She looked at me saying she knew I was stressed out as I was telling her yet most of the conversation was dominated by the other aspects of my personality, only the last five minutes did I get to speak.  I was so upset over the weekend that I sent a text to an old friend whom I’ve battled with often through the years often agreeing to disagree however still at the end being great friends. Her words when I said that apparently from what I heard from some of my exes I was not good enough to love and that I was a horrible person. The one person that I thought could and would be there for everything is now saying just friends. My other friend from the past sent a text to me that figuratively saved my emotional life. It was,” you’re good enough to love we are just too stupid to see the good thing we’ve got” I asked her what she meant by we and she informed me that she was speaking about herself also.  It amazes me as I’ve been sending out apologetic emails texts and letters how many of my exes have said very similar things. That they made a mistake of losing me because in losing me they lost a good thing. Yet I only want one person and I’m sure they know who they are.  On that note got to have my nightly vanilla root beer fix. Hope all is well with everyone.