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STEP INTO HOMICIDAL IDEATION
No one can really describe what it is like.
It is something that takes over.
It is moments that some people say rationality goes out the window.
For a moment I allowed my mind to take the trip.
To think of breaking a universal rule.
I thought I could end it all.
The nightmares, that person stalking me, my family, my friends.
The maligning of untruths, burdens, and me over damage control I should not have to do.
For a moment I took a step into homicidal ideation.
I thought I’m an expert firer, mixed race with dark skin.
The army taught me to always complete a mission, so I could pick a night, park a few blocks away, wear dark clothes, lay in the prone and handle the situations.
I thought in doing so I’d take the step from homicidal ideation to suicide and no one would even have to know.
