Author Information
BEHIND THIS SMILE ARE A THOUSAND TEARS I’M DROWNING IN
Today I looked deep into my soul. I know it’s not empty but it felt that way. I lost part of myself. I married someone who said they loved me. I trusted that those words were real but now I realize that they were just a snare to trap the lioness.
Funny thing about Lioness’ we protect our young at all costs.
My job/my life are to protect my children. You say our children. I have prayed my whole life for my children. Life is ironic that deliverance of my children will be the catalyst for my freedom. Divorce my freedom to be me again. Yet attorneys tell me that it can’t be ore even start until after deliverance of my children. The DNA says our children, biologically a mother and a father. I say my children because other than family I will be alone.
From three to two now, at a birth a celebration. I will also have to plan a funeral. My family has to carry the burden of my sadness over the loss that you tell me not to think about. A sad moment in time when a mother loses herself, her child and struggles daily not to lose her other children. People tell you to be grateful fro the two left. Yet no one tells you that you married a silver tongued demon acting person who’s whole life has been spent trying to get over one people and he got over on me. Suddenly playing “big daddy” when wouldn’t even go to appointments.
Behind this smile are a thousand tears I’m drowning in. tears that cover a broken heart, infidelity, loss, dreams. The river of tears that run deeper than the years in my lifetime.
