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I received every form of bad news I thought I could handle.

Too much for me to say no just once.

Can’t even tell my wife I’m leaving the job everyone wanted me to have for something that makes me happy.

Here lies the domino effect.

The conversation goes:

“ Honey, I’m leaving and accepting a job with another company.  Looking at my new list of priorities I am beyond overwhelm.”



I’ve spent days thinking about if I wasn’t here what would happen.

I think about if I died tonight…



If I died tonight.

People who love me would ask why, but then just accept.

I thought about how my wife would be alone.

I thought about how the nightmares would go away.

I thought about how Stacy would finally leave me and mine alone.



My child would never understand.

I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t think or believe God exists anymore.

I’m a minister and healer who have lost my faith.



How can I be created by such an omnipresent being that doesn’t even know I exist anymore, so how do I know it exists.

How did I get to the point where I understand Job?

It amazes me that I can take on other ministers in the community

Going toe to toe and scripture to scripture,

Yet my life has fallen apart.



I denied who I was on so many levels.  The shaman, the lesbian, the minister, and remote viewer. I look at my life list to update my priorities, changed and rearranged people, places, and things.  

How can I be justified by my home church to ordain me as a minister, yet ostracize me because of my love life?



It’s just my domino effect.  Don’t try this at home.