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Today I realized what I was contrary to what I’ve been fighting.   I am someone who has a double sword held at her life all the time.  



I am what some uneducated people call a black Jew.  My faith runs deep with the blood of my ancestors.  I am from an ancient bloodline.



Things came back to me today that had been locked into my memory like how I enjoy reading from the Torah and me missing my prayer book.



I know that God gives meaning and purpose to my life.

That the Torah gives meaning and purpose to my life.

And that in all these ways and more,

Israel gives meaning and purpose to my life.



I cannot change what I am. Raised Christian, but leaning towards my ancestry, Jewish faith, ancient bloodline.  I am strong when I am weak.



Then there is my life. An exchanged vow between me and my partner for the rest of my life.   “DODI  LI VANI  LO”, meaning “ I am my beloved and my beloved is mine.” I am her wife as she is mine.



Daily I look at my past, present and future, only to pray that I do not fall on this double sword of my faith, and my sexuality.