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I am sorry. Why does it seem that I always let down the people that I love? Why can't I do as I promiss, Why? WHY? What is the point of being in love and loving some one if you can't protect them. I feel so low, so worthless ... I promissed I would be here and I wasn't ... -I- PROMMISED and i wasn't here. Each time I faulter is like a knife in my heart, twisting slowly killing a little more of me and stripping my angel and humanity away from me. I want to hold my love and angel, I want to cares her back, I want to whisper in her ear it will be ok. I want to keep my promiss.



She says she'll need to work to get something she wants. We both know what that means but we never talk about it. I know she does not like it but has no other way, I just wish I could tell her that it kills me deep in side. I would do anything to keep her from that work, even if it meant I starved, better that than this. I can not put it behind me, she is so much stronger than I, but she promissed I could have a week and already one day went by. I have to get the money and save her from her work, I have to get the money, and save myself as well. I just want to curl up with a knife and end the deep seeded pain, I want her free and happy, with every thing she needs. How can I live with myself knowing she has to work, getting money from this dance, the most intimate embrace. We promissed ourselves to eachother and yet I can not save her, and yet again a promiss dies, and yet again I failed.



I can not go on like this, promiss after promiss falling by the wayside, I have to stop this dead on dash, I have to take the bullet. This may be my time to go. I do not want to leave but I may have no choice, if she loves me she will understand, I must protect her, any way I can.