Life of the dead heart Phoenix (ch12&13)

I wonder sometimes if it is my gift that keeps my heart this way.. and if it is then it's a cursed gift that I wouldn't wish on any one... Not out of compation but out of logic... it would be illogical to have another done harm after the act is done... and is the act done for my heart or like in days of old the tails they wove will my heart fill with that great fire bird and come back from the ashes it is now? I can only ponder it and wait while others hope it does



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Every so often I forget that other people still have feelings even though I don't. By forgetting that I tend to step on toes that I don't mean too and I close of others hearts to me with out even knowing it. I often see myself, in retrospect, plodding through it all like a plesiasaur just going from here to there... It can make for a bad time even with those that are closest... will I be better of knowing the pain I caused first hand? I don't know, but I do know I most likely won't be worse off...

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