Senses and Sensualities (Some mature content) (05) (insanity)

Not sure what to do

Not sure how I feel

Needing company

Wanting solotude

Is it better to be alone in a crowd

Or to have true distance

Peace and serenity from everyone

A longing for understanding

Unsure of the unknown

What comes next

Needing solotude

Wanting company

Needing, wanting, nothing, everything

So cold, fevered, unsure about certianty

Sad, mad, encouraged, scared

Senserity, virtue, lies, half truths

Waiting, always waiting...

Why do I wait, what do I wait for

Is it time yet

When, how will I know

Where should I be waiting

Do I need to get away for a while

Do I need to run away

Run from what, from who, from where

Maybe if I run away long enough I will run into the problem and find it

Will I know when I do

What will it look like

I need to run too

I need to run too

I need to run to

Run to, Run to... where

I need to be there

I can see it but where

I will wait there for something

I am waiting my life

Feeling a want a need

Wanting both space and closeness

Confused of what to do

Always put on hold

Always put others first

Conflicting wants and needs

Run away, time to think

Push away, I need no one

Heart aches, is it from running

I haven't yet

My face is wet my teeth are clenched

Go away, leave me alone

I want no one I need no one

Others come first

Push away to protect them

I want to draw near

But can't, I must be alone

Why can't I run

I need no one

Do I protest too much

Who do I tell

Alone at a party

Keeping it that way

No one close

No one can hurt me

I won't be hurt if I push first

Nothing needed Nothing wanted

No joy No sorrow No pain No love

No love?

Love leeds to pain

No pain

No tears

No joy

No one close

Nothing left behind

If I keep running

I won't be hurt

No pain No gain

Nothing to gain fron running

Should I run

Yes, but why

I don't know

I'm confused

I am too close

I want closer

I need to push away

But Why?

Do I need not to push

Should I take off my shoes

WHAT DO I WANT

LEAVE ME ALONE

Do I mean it

Is that for the best

What do I do now

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this poem contains some material that may not be suitable for people under the age of 14

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