the same


again, i sit, my mind so blank,

not a moment recorded, this all so fake.

can't continue my thoughts, as dense as they are,

want so bad to live, i'll settle for so far.

you would be so proud, that i lived this long,

but you would be so shocked, that this is the song.

no birds, no rainbows, no wishes come true,

same sad song, that you never knew.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

in the book "the bell jar" ester, when asked how she feels, replies "the same" despite a few sessions of the quick fix, shock therapy. i always wanted to know what it felt like to feel "the same" since i always felt sadness or lonliness or apathy or some other isolating feeling, but now i realize that all along this is 'the same' that i always felt, just never knew it....

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