It's another evening
Snug in the lap of solitude,
And as the sky descends into darkness
In God's laziness
I notice the time, and my cat
Languidly closing and opening his eyes
And looking the other direction.
These are the times when I think of things
Like that we are all
Tethered to typecasting
By life,
Waiting on real and
Falling to pieces in something like a war
But which is only
The work week.
How it shevles our dreams
And replaces them with tax forms.
How we as good citizens
Give up on so much
Just to support children.
How we allow lovers to pass
Through our lives
Like the changng of trains
At the station;
Complete and utter changes
In life stories
At the flick of God's fingers.
How I
Gave up on all of this,
Simply all of this,
Just to be an amateur poet.
And I think of Socrates forming
The Socratic method,
And there is some wisdom to this for writers:
True inspiration doesn't always come to you.
Sometimes you have to churn it out,
Go fishing, throw
The chum in the water
And wait for sharks.
And other times
The poem just ends.
That's a thing more accurate to life, anyway,
And tragedy. The knot
Isn't usually tied neatly in the end.
The tragedy I know is a different kind of suffering.
There is no crook to catch.
The victim simply gets sick
Due to a genetic trait
And you medicate the symptoms
But you never really get better.
And sometimes you stand there
Like you have dropped a glass
Peering through your hands, wondering,
What became of my life?
But God doesn't answer these moments
Because these are not prayers,
These are curses upon the devil.
It's when you truly understand you have fallen
That faith become fact, not
Empty hope.
And it's when you truly believe
That the devil become a real thing,
And you realize the breath of the fall.
And it's at this time when you begin
To worship, and end poems such as these
Not with a, "The end,"
But an amen. For
If for that moment your ship capsizes
There is always the next moment,
And you give the former to God, and
You roll over in your half-slumber
And dream, just as innocently as you did before,
Once again.
It's these dreams that comprise a life
From point a to point b. Dreams
That never go recorded, that are
Only recorded
In the amber fields of heaven.
Perhaps, someday, we find them again.