It's Suffering

I don't have

Much luck in life.

So I'm

Pretty sure

I won't be accepted

Back into community college

With my dirty clothes,

My unwashed body,

My long, unkempt beard,

And my felony record.

My fingernails aren't

Clean

Like the rest of them.

And I'm also

Pretty much certain

That I won't be published

Any time soon.

Nothing that good

Could ever happen to me.

I'm resigned to my fate

At this point.

It is my place to suffer,

As God said

Smoking his pipe.

I'm the type who doubts

So I need that element

Of suffering

Just to keep my faith.

It draws me closer to Him.

In fact,

It's the only time I pray.

If I didn't suffer

I think I'd be an Atheist

Like Finish, or Swedish people,

All those Nordic countries

Where times are good

And there is very little

Use for God.

But I

Am more like Africa,
Senegal perhaps.

So if you tell me

That there is no God

I have a hard time understanding

You.

"I can't go on."

"I will go on,"

Becket once wrote.

How do you go on

Without God?

I just don't understand.

There are no Atheists in foxholes.

Atheism is a previlege

I will most likely

Never be party to.

Christianity takes

A Gideon

And the patience of one

To read a long book, and pray.

If anyone ever tells you different

They're lying to you.

There's a strong church

And then there's a megachurch

And personally

I think the world would be

A better place

If we burned them all down

And sent the ministers there

To the madhouses,

Or, frankly,

Jail.

Make them suffer, I say.

Anything but the continued

Collecting of welfare

Checks

Every Sunday.

 

But this poem isn't about that.

This poem is about

My luck, or

Lack thereof,

And suffering.

I was born with bad luck.

At an early age

I learned

Not to gamble

Because I just had

Natural bad luck.

If I bet heads,

It came up tails.

If I neglected to study

There was a pop quiz.

If I vandalized a house

I was caught.

I'm an honest man

But I have not

Lived

An honest life.

You would think that

With my bad luck

I would learn

Not to take this gamble.

It isn't true

That crime doesn't pay.

Crime pays well.

That's why people commit crime.

But, after a while,

You have to live with your sin.

You have to live with these things you do.

They don't let go of you.

And when you look up

One day

And reflect on the fact

That you haven't

Taken

A hard look in the mirror

In over a decade,

It's more than bad luck,

It's suffering.

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