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WANT TO WRITE A NOVEL? PART 4
Folder:
English For Poets .
DESCRIBING ACTION:
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This is a tough one because action lives inside each writer's style and the choices they make. I am not tt good at moving humans around, but timing of movent and positioning of things and the character are the skeleton of action.
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Questions to answer: How do body parts move? At rest, different than walking or running, swimming, praying. Props, costumes and clothing, and accessories can determine or imply action. If in handcuffs no fighting possible. If in a tuxedo walking in mud is not a good choice unless action dictates it. Motions small as a gesture or large as flying a jet in war time require clear description. The interaction of multiple humans with inanimate objects is the challenge; to envision a scene, then make it happen the way you imagine. Tough. It takes a lot of time at first, then as your motion-eye-pen muscles develop, it gets easier.
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When a passage is complete, you ask: where do I go next? Write what you know. If expertise is required, do extensive research - how to fly a jet, how to bake a cake. If you don't know the answer, chose something you know how to do/make. An auto mechanic - great, work on a car, you know the terms, the tools, the needs of the setting and scene. If you are a teacher, classroom is a must with students - go for what you know is what dictates where the novel is going, the next scene, the progression toward the end - which you know because your are adhering to your outline. Do not deviate from the outline. Stuck? Check outline for direction - it will tell you where you need to go next. Write toward the end of the novel always!
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Examples:
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She sat down
Laura sat down at the desk.
Limping on a bad leg, Laura headed for the desk, leaned against it, and knocked over the desk lamp.
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After being shot, Laura managed to limp to the desk, but unable to keep her balance, tumbled over the corner and fell on a hardwood floor. Her blood covered left foot tangled a cord and the floor lamp plunged down against her shoulder. She stiffled a scream not wanting him to hear.
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Building a visual sequence of action is determined by the plot, yes, but the need for logical steps and accurate details takes thought. Rewrite until clarity is achieved. Can you see it? If you can, then your reader will.
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Novel Note: Plot movement. Chuck shoots Laura and she falls. Put meat on Laura's fall - how does she feel, right now fear is overpowering sensations. What can make it a visual fall? How does it sound?
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REWRITE:
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...the lamp plunged into her shoulder and pain immobilized her as she reflexively jerked, fire like fingers of anguish ran throuh her chest and left arm. I've got to get out of here, she thought, throwing the lamp post against the wall so hard the bulb shattered.
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Her fear is transferred to what happens to the lamp. Things, where they are positioned with the character can be used in multiple emotional, positional, even chemical ways. A piece of furniture is not important unless it becomes a part of the action. Who would care that there is a row of pictures on the shelf at this point or that the drapes are green? Right?
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Interaction of heroine with bullet, desk, floor, cord, lamp. Awareness of stuff around the charcter's motions is extremely important. You have to put them there. You are the puppet master, you pull the strings. You are the production manager, you set the stage. You design the clothing, select the color scheme. Don't forget how character is feeling/sensing the environment and being affected by it. Characters are the novel's point - their development and experiences are where the novel is centered. If they do not grow, the novel goes stagnant. If the things around them do not address their emotional or physical development - pitch them as inconsequential adding nothing to the story line.
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This is a starting point. High action scenes with multiple characters mean shorter descriptive passages of what is occuring to 5-10 people. Point of view (POV) is a good way to do that, describe the mayhem from one character's perspective.
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EXAMPLE:
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I saw Milly hit the wall as the blast took out my ability to hear. Joan was next to the armchair's leg bleeding from her left temple. I could not find Jake, but Vince was crawling toward Amy who had been cut by broken window glass and was slumped across the back of the sofa.
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Short and sweet. Now the next action is ready to proceed - the rescue, the helping, the getting help (or more action - gunshots or fire raging) et al.
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Novel Note: When action scene is getting long or one-sided (centered on one character) rewrite and make descriptions shorter. Share the wealth across all the characters.
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Action can not be separated from the characters. If it is a view like watching an accident or two people meeting, then description from the viewer's POV determines only the action that can be seen by them. If objects block the view, it can not be described.
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It seems like a lot to hold in your head while portraying so much action as a character, but it is necessary. Give it the time it needs; give it the words and space it needs to fill out the setting the scene, the room or outdoor spaces. If it is too lean, add more. If full of one syllable words, enhance vocabulary for rhythm by using several three or four syllable words.
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EXAMPLE:
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Frank walked to the store and got lost.
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Frank was thinking about Jeanette and decided to walk to the store to clear his head. He could not think of anything but her; the woman who this morning had agreed to go out with him. She was not going to ever like him after what happened just now. How many kinds of idiots am I? She's georgeous and sweet and I made a fool of myself.
By the time Frank looked up from damning himself and his inexcusable performance, he did not recognize where he was. He had walked too far past the turn and was in an unknown part of Jeanette's neighborhood.
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Full circle, start with Jeanette and end with Jeanette.
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Just enough action to tell character's mood, a bit more of the action (what happened in the immediate past), a dilemma introduced: he is lost. Action opportunity: gets mugged, sees a crime, gets kidnapped, meets another woman (hmmm...) - Plot is good, but action has to advance it or there is nothing to write about. Re-read the passage: if not enough movement described or no gestures, nothing cutting through space over time, it ain't HAPPENING. Open it up and get started moving around your characters in your novel. Have fun!
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Lady A
10-13-16
138a
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Revised 07-08-17
Revised 01-28-18
OUTLINE AND NOVEL NOTES FOR A NOVEL IN PROGRESS
02-04-18
Outline For A Science Fiction Novel:
She was orphaned at three months,
parents executed for treason
by Earth Force Leader, Trannax VII
at Io Earth Date (ED) 779114.
Adopted by a General who wanted
an heir for his empire who possessed
high scores in spacial numerical
relativity studies.
The girl, named Saan Yagatorn,
earned the highest
engineer ability genetic map
in her DNA since the test was
invented. She became a Colonel
in E. Force at Neptune's satellite
worlds at age 17.
Shaw qA raid-abducted and educted
by a Catarian Princess - Koza
Firraxxia of Korviaaslax-Sapphir Warren.
Prone to mood swings, she had
trouble with Catarian customs.
She was more than apt in most
sports, math contests were boring,
and she took prizes in deep space
exercises excelling Catarian Corps
native born cadets.
Unable to tolerate Catarian
termporalspace leaps, she was
returned to Earth Corps at age
20 after mastering the twelve
languages of the inner worlds
of All-Earth Consortium. Assigned
to out-space vessel, Genex IV,
returned at age 23 as Master
Commander Pilot of Earh Ore
Ship, Fallen Asteroid, with
a crew of mostly outer rim
earth born and one Catarian.
JUu was royalty and wanted
to learn Earth customs
which Korviaaslax taught
her in three years during
a troublesome rub abd return
from Ursa Tertius.
Saving each other from death
three times, JUu declard
her Na-daugher and became
Na mother to Korviaaslax.
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It was one way to suvive
and become the Queen-Commander
of All Earth Terretories
begifted after the defeat
of Earth Corps, by Catarian
Over-Empress, JUu. She
annihilated Earth's fleets
and then usurped the twelve
temporal planes
of the Catarii Empire. She
returned and gave Korviaaslax
all nine earth provinces.
Life in space had its rewards
for an orphan whose parents
were executed for treason.
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Lady A
02-04-18
338p
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Novel Korviaaslax finished. whew! I followed my own advice.
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