Trying to hold back the tears is the hardest thing I have ever done. Decisions like these should not be made by a teen.... These feelings are the ones I shouldn't feel.... I feel like I just ran a 60 mile marathon and can't catch my breath... and my heart is jumping out of my chest. Every song I hear is a song for you. And every thought I have... I think of you. In school, I do my best. Just for you to notice me. And at night I talk to God, asking him if we're meant to be. Although I haven't recieved an answer.... I think of what was there.... and wonder why I was stupid to push you away... when I know I really care. I wonder why I can't hate you, and I wonder what you think of me. I wonder if life goes on, but without you, there is no me.....I'm still holding on to what there was and I'm not letting go just because. So dont think these tears can be dried up with words... my heart has been broken and all those words... i've heard. I'm still hiding so much... and you'll never understand....I'll never understand why I let you walk away... or why God gave me a second chance... why I'm standing here today... So I live my day as the normal teenage girl.. hiding the secrets of yesterday.. hiding them from who is "my world."

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