I wish I was able to express myself
To not be scared
to be able to feel like I am worthy
My life filled with cautions
Aware of surroundings
Self aware of decisions
Like big signs flashing in the distance
Waiting for signs to act
I continue to hide truth
I wish I wasn't so pathetic
I can wish but I can't do
It's easy, to believe in feelings of the surface
It's not real, I just control the situation
I can still feel
Make believe real
but not the blood rush feeling of bam!
The pulse of lightning with the feeling of an earthquake
I deal and I'm content
I'm happy in this life of safety
But I yearn to be wild
Wild with you
I desire to act on these feelings
that blind me from every wrong you can do
I march to the beat of your steps with every sound you make
When you call, it's like a magnet pulling me towards you
I can't ignore you
I can't walk away
And it feels like dying
when I think you don't feel the same
I make dramatic statements
You involved, will always be bigger than small
Grand moments on grand stages
Distance between your lips and mine
The excitement just hitting me
It's semi-controlled chaos
Raising hell inside me
In this reality of robotic movements
Of black and white
You're the gray
that sends me in disarray
I know what to do
Every choice comes easy
Than I think of you
My world collapses
If I even think about us
It's like a big question mark in my path
I'd give up all my rights just for you
You wouldn't be wrong
You'd just be the first
The first that I actually love
The wild and crazy love
that makes me want to give up contentment with charged moments
Instead of this life of just easy
Life is hard
But not as hard as talking to u
Life can give me bumps
hurricanes and barriers
whatever forces want to pull me down
Chain my hands and feet
I've been through bad moments
Life can do that
But it doesn't make me quiver
when it comes to just thinking of u how i really want u
Controlled?
Calm and collected?
it's just the surface
I'll just continue to write
Help keep me contained