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For Freedom
Folder:
War and Peace
Bullets whizzed through morning mist
unseen, they hit the underbrush
and splintered pine trees.
Snip, crash, snap, thud!
As the revolutionaries fought
for freedom and for peace.
Worn out from meager rations
harsh winters, no shelter
they carried on
and carried well-
even though it all was hell.
A soldier tripped and fell and groaned
thunder struck into his thigh, a musketball
hitting shattered bones like lightning.
Knowing this, his friends fought on
neighbors from his town and next
all tradesmen, doctors, trappers, farmers-
for the freedom of their country.
Wow!
It's quite good! I liked it.
Although I know that you don't need punctuation in poetry, I thought that, if you wanted to, you could capitialize the a in: "as brave American revolutionaries fought"
You don't have to do anything with it, and I won't take offense if you don't =)
Overall, it was a great read! This seems like your niche. Keep writing stuff like this! (IF you WANT to, that is!)
<3
Moriah:
Thanks Moriah!
Cheers,
Adam_San
=)
No problem! Anytime!
<3