When
Shadows
Turn to
Stone
And
Solitudes' specter
Stands
Sneering at the
Sight,
Then - then you might know me;
And
Understand the
Cold
Breath of life,
And
Feel
Black
Loneliness ebb through
Now empty
Dreams.
And
Then, you will see
The fabric of life rent
And
The shroud of myself,
Now
Only
Rags,
Draped around that
Specter.
And
Then - then will you
Know
Me
I like it a lot. Only crit: I wonder if you could change the last word to "me" instead of "pain". It feels like a twist for twist's sake. The imagery, though is very powerful. You get a big bang with few words.