Blinding headlights of a sleepy driver
Impact my fragile body
Stealing any feeling of nostalgia
Recollection or remote memory
In the universe of infinite potential
That is my mind
A childhood lost
Like a sailor buried at sea
No way of ever retrieving it
12 years of youth flushed
Down the toilet of forgetfulness
A dead fish in my aquarium of memories
The insensitive men in white lab coats
The same cold hearted ones
Whose icy hands and instruments
Freeze my pale skin that's brutally scarred
Tell me that in fact I'm lucky
Not only to forget but to be alive
Labeled unwanted memories
Are the incessant X-rays
Of a bony leg torn in half
By a compound fracture
MRIs of a brain clotted by pints of blood
The same blood that was loaned
From an anonymous source
After countless amounts escaped my body
Fast like those fleeing a fire
Unwanted memories of the turmoil
My family suffered the day
When a solemn priest read me my last rites
As the doctors told of my near impossible survival
Or at least hardly not ending up a carrot
But what of the memories that I want?
The hopscotch games and silly notes passed
Speaking of my very first crush
Or filled with complaints of a dreaded teacher
Assigning boatloads of homework
On what was supposed to be a weekend
Of immense joy and freedom
Trips to the local corner store
To satisfy my daily requirement of sugar
Or to the beloved zoo
Gazing in awe at the primates
Swinging almost a mile high
At least in my youthful eyes
On the thin but strong tree limbs
Photos say a thousand words
And could be the key to unlocking
The chamber of secrets that is my past
But the door was locked
The keys thrown away
By a Hitler like woman I call Chris
Sleepless nights I spend
In extreme agony of the mind
Trying to dig up my buried past
Not wanting to give into the fact
That all I'll ever know
Are stories my mother told me