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Gray
Amazing! Is it not?
How quickly things can go from good to worse.
Why... just the other day we were the happiest and merriest of people
Trusting, loving... giddy with passion and bliss!.
Gray
Now all I see is gray
I feel and think a numbing gray.
I hear your sobs... your pleading... your disguised threats
Disgust, anger, frustration, fear
These things are suppose to affect me
You just want me to understand
To think twice... to realize that I'm wrong
And yet, I think we both know that I'm right.
I ought not feel the way I do
This I know...
But it's as if my mind has gone into lockdown
As if I have cut off all emotion - all feeling.
All those memories.
Those terrible terrible memories!
I know they are in the past now... that the worst ought to be behind us.
But I feel as if they will haunt me forever.
How is it I am suppose to tell you this?
When you have already appologized so many times!!!
Again and again I have told you not to worry - told you, you are forgiven.
Is to forgive to forget?
If you feel it is then I have no business in forgiving.
For I have doubts I will ever forget.
I want to forget so badly now.
To forget those times would be a gift to us both.
A precious precious gift.
Isn't knowledge not also a gift though?
Am I truely sorry that I know what I do?
My heart says that I am but my head thinks otherwise...
Oh, what a battle!
What a terrible raging mess!
My soul in shambles
Littered with all the scars and rotting wounds one might expect to see from conflict of heartbreak
In times like these - flashbacks, like spasms of agony seize my mind.
I know that it isn't fair... but there is nothing I can do.
My love for you is strong, you mean so very much to me
But even when in love, I must lookout for myself
I dont know what to do
I feel so afraid
God please help us both.
