Hey.
I'm writing you this and putting it on here so I can come back later to read it. Today I woke up and I want to cry. I really miss you. What hurts me the most is knowing you can see me and I know you don't like what you see. Days can be so cruel and nights are for the escape. Last Saturday when i was so fucked up, I thought I saw you sitting by the dinner table. I have regret for looking away and not "SEEING".
I'm not pleading, I'm not promising, and I'm not swearing. Just letting you know that I'm acknowledging my mistakes. Years pass, and I think it's getting better. But one day out of the year, it comes crashing down to zero. Having so much to say, yet I'm so scared for sharing it. For a while, I was ignoring you. Sometimes I miss you so much, I hate it. So I ignore the fact that you're not gone and that you're not dead. I take the time to close my eyes and cry, but I always get interrupted. I don't know what world I'm living in now. Sorry for ranting.
happy easter