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Childhood Swings
The swings are gently moving
At my old elementary school
Carefree memories
Walking these empty grounds
Even if I went back to the beginning
This aching won’t go away
If I went back to my kiddie pool
The day my father said goodbye
I’d drown in my tears in the pool
If I fast forward to the day,
The day I went from a child to an adult
I’d curse the disease for taking him from us
If we kept going to a few years,
Grandpa left peacefully
While Grandma’s heart stayed broken
The broken pieces couldn’t be pieced together
Each piece became a lost memory
Until she forgot us all
If our smiles to one another could save you,
Sweet grandmother,
you’d be the shoulder of cry on
If I had the love which could save me,
I wouldn’t think to die everyday
When these memories become bricks,
Too heavy for my heart to carry
This reign of nothingness
Remains the monarchy of my lies
My shameful truth
The willingness of addiction growing
Another slice of a bad memory opened
The cut runs deeper than you know
What you can’t heal
The very thing you can’t save
Me
But here I am
The old swings gently moving
Where my innocence was left at
When time stood frozen
As I gently swing myself,
I lay my head back
Please someone take me
To a place where I can start over
Where my heart can begin to beat again
