PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

The lights are bright, his desire is apparent,

But the circumstances seem familiar,

And I feel like I’ve been here before.

To another man with a heart that pumps precious red enthusiasm,

Enthusiasm which will eventually die.

I know this, my pessimism, is realism… I know I am right.

I’m going to ignore the texts, close my eyes, and pray he’ll leave me alone.

I won’t be his trial & error, his little quaint secret.

I don’t want to be his side thing, the one who gives him everything,

but the other girl gets the ring.

I don’t want to be hurt.

I don’t want to be his fling.

I know pain,

and I’ve realized lately that maybe I’m not as normal as I thought myself to be.

I get angry a lot, especially at the people I love.

I’ve been mistreated by every man I’ve ever loved.

No one is perfect, but if they could have stopped, why didn’t they?

I wish I could go back in time & avoid their betrayals.

I think of the man my mother would have married if he didn’t try to rape me,

I think of my rocky relationship with my father, and why my love couldn’t allow him to change, just like my first love.

[He] claimed to love me, but wouldn’t change for me.

My first love was supposed to wipe those tears away,

But knew all I went through & continued to hurt me anyway.

I think of my best male friend, and even though we are as strong as we are today,

We went through so much bullshit along the way.

Love?

It’s such a touchy subject. The ifs and buts, they arguing & fuss,

And then there’s the theory that it should be “worth it”,

But I don’t have any positive models of marriage in my life.

I’m going to walk away, turn my head, and pretend we don’t have so much in common.

It hurts to give your all, and have all your effort come to nothing.

I’m going to walk away before my heart becomes his possession,

Before I have no choice but to give into temptation.