disintegration

quit trying to flaunt what you don’t have

you see yourself as something you’ll never become

walking the distances inside your head

but you’ll never find the end of the rope

(always back at the beginning)



i’ve given up this time, and turned myself in

because not trying at all is better than trying and failing

i feel i’m not even human, i am just an object

torn apart by this machine, wedged between the nails

(and i shall never see the end of it)



all the windows are there, but still i’m afraid to open them

there’s so much more behind these doors, but i’ll always keep them locked

and maybe i could fly, but this world pounds me into the ground

perhaps one day i could live, but everyone wants to keep me dead

(and everything in-between is slowly disintegrating)



deep down inside, i have everything to hide

you shouldn’t see behind these eyes

i don’t blame you for not wanting to be here

because sometimes i really don’t myself

(i’m compelled to escape, but every time i face a closed door)



if only something about you was close to me

but i’m so far apart from everyone, i always will be

i can’t relate to those so far below me, it’s not like i would want to

i think you all are beneath me, but i’m the one at the bottom

(surrounded by everything, still i have nothing)



first in line, yet sure to be losing

seems it works for everyone else, but not for me

now i know i’ve always been going nowhere

in the end, i guess it wasn’t really meant to be

(the only direction i know is down)



there must be something else, but i’ll never grasp it

you all have what i want, but i’ll never get it

locked up in a cage, all the perfect ones left me numb

how i wish i were something, just someone i could never become

(but do you really think it’s worth the effort?)

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