I could set there an wonder,
Why it is, that I am upset.
But I find my mind is completely blank,
I don't have to ponder, don't even have to think.
The sadness, is just there.
The pain, sorrow and despair.
It is a constant ache,
I can never seem to shake.
It hurts my heart ever day,
Because I am not sure if I can keep going.
When it becomes to much to handle,
When it finally makes me break.
I'm not sure, of how much more of this heartache, I can take.
There is no dreams when I close my eyes,
Just darkness all around me.
Its pitch black and cold,
Its mostly lonely.
But as I close my eyes,
An drift into a sleep,
There is peace, just for a moment,
And the sorrow doesn't seem so deep.
You say you know how I feel,
That you know, just how real,
My pain is because you feel it to.
But your wrong, its not true.
You can't say, you feel my distress.
Just because you see how it affects me,
You think you can relate,
But you can't and even if you tried to understand,
Its a bit to late.
These tears will never cease.
The ache will never dull,
And I will always have this burden,
Of a past I can never change.
I will always have regret,
As it eats away at my very core.
You cannot fix a heart that has been completely tore,
And you cannot speak words that will make it better.
They don't make a cure.
And as I stare at the scars, so deep in my skin,
I will always know just how easy it is to hurt.
But at the same time its a reminder,
Of how I tried to make the pain end,
And how I only wished for this broken life to mend.
So you say you understand my suffering,
But your mistaken.
Everyone feels the pain but not one is the same,
Because everyone feels it differently.
It hits ones heart in different places,
Attacks using many faces.
Each with a different impact,
As it deals damage all the same.
Everyone has felt that at least once.
So you cannot say that you know,
When you may have a pain of your own,
But it is much different than mine.
A level of a different kind.
And though I know it will always be apart of me,
I will always feel it knowing I will never truly be happy,
I know that I must see towards my future, that shines so bright.
Because, I know I need to get out of the darkness and into the light.
I have to continue to fight.