I lie awake in the early hours, hoping for the light but only seeing dark. my visions harras me driving away my sanity, clawing my thoughts towards the abyss of reality.
Is this the future I have promised to me? In this basement of blood stains and bad smells. only renewing my nightmares over and over.
I pierce the skin to fight back, the pain distracts the demons. But only an instant of gratification that becomes a phantom of its predicessors.
The wound becoming deeper to fight for the rush of complacency. glances from peers penetrate the thin walls of cloth and character.
I cant continue this war, where the victor and the failure are the same. I look forward to the end, the sigh of relief when my soul finaly resonates with a decision.
The stale mate of subconciousness, tremor of anticipation, muscles spasms, the dark lit room. the craving finally settled, the smooth metal, never more desired. a flicker of fear, lost in a moment.
The complexity of the hopefull lost to me, I seek only harbor from these constant torments of the phantoms of my past, and the demons in my future. The present is all I have, and once thats lost to me. I have the fear of not knowing.