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It all started in a classroom, and it all ended on a date, and when we said goodbye i knew and had the feeling that it was going to be our last time, the last hug, the last i love you i would get from you, but i never thought it would be this hard , and this much pain. Life is sometimes really hard with love, and sometimes i wish i just didnt love you the way i do but the truth is i dont know when this will go away, you'll always have a part of my heart, you'll always be there, and every time i think of you, or see your online, my heart just drops because i wish i could tell you so many things that i just can't. i wish i could messege you and say "I love you" but i hold it, and just keep it to my self because it doesnt matter whethere i tell you or not, you have found someone else. It kills to know you have found someone else.... I fought for your heart ever since i met you in that class room, and someone out of no where came and took you away from the little i had acomplished. All i can say is that its not fair at all but life is the one that its not fair, i dont hate you, i dont dislike you just because you like this guy, i really dont, its like now that i know youll never be mine, i really know how much i love you, and its alot more then i thought, now i got nothing left but pain, and tears in my eyes, and i miss you....
i remember the day i walked to that classroom and i saw this beautiful girl that i was going to set next to, even though i didn't show it was like "oh shit i get to sit next to this cute girl its got to be my luck day" sounds lame but those are the words i told to my self, and there she was, Amber Wilson the girl that makes me feel this way. i was so shy and scared to talk to her, and one day i remember i had to work and i had alot of homework, and i was like okay i got to ask someone, and then i asked this girl that i dont even remember her name but she said that she didnt let people copy so i was like okay i have no choice i got to ask Amber, I don't think she ever believed me but when i told her why i need her to let me copy the homework she gave me the look of yeah right, she thought i was lying but i really wasn't. after that day we started taking more and more then, shed call me juanito something i don't really let people do, but come on its her, id let her call me anything she wants, just because its her....the more we talked the more i would like her, and little by little i fell in love with her,i remember all the times our teacher would tell us to shut up and listen but it didn't work, because then after like a minute or two, sometimes even less then a minute, we would start talking again, i actually remember this one time when he got so pissed it was so funny, me and her were smiling at each other because we got the teacher so mad. i always thought to my self what it would be like if me and her were together, she was just so special, so honest, i told her once my story, i used to be into gangs, and i got beat up more times then i can even remember, i got my self so many enemies, and i don't know why but she gave me that feeling that i could be an open book to her. when she said "why are you telling me all this" and i told her because i can trust you, and i did trust her, i told her so many things that even my own family don't know. sometimes i wold flirt with her and shed just give me a surprised look and asked me if i was and id just give her a smile and said no. the truth its obvious i was, and even though she had a boyfriend back then, that's the reason why i said no... i remember how she would always let me copy answers in a quiz, she didn't care if she got in trouble, maybe she didn't but she didn't really show she did. then when i would up the teachers desk and leave my quiz shed be looking at me and i would smile, and god that smile would just make my days, that smile meant sooooo much....so that was my everyday favorite class, ill miss those days so much, i don't know but i just couldn't keep my eyes of her.... The day i got late to class she seemed to be worry that i wasn't going to be there, i got there and she said i put your chair down and i thought you weren't going to be here, i was like she cares about me? man i wish i could of told her everything i felt for her, that i cared alot more then she did about me. that her showing she cared meant so much, and i sometimes just cant thank god enough for giving those little moments with her, i wish i could spent the rest of my life with her but i know i wont... and well it all ended this way. We went on a date, we had dinner i met her in the parking lot, and then she saw me and ran up to me and gave me a super tight hug and i don't know i wasn't on the ground, i felt like it was just me and her, every sound of the cars were gone, it was just so nice to have her in my arms again. we talked about how life was going for each other, and well it all just went like that, so fast, it was over in a blink of an eye. we said goodbye and i she told me we would see each other again. then i told her we wont i don't know why but i just had that feeling we wouldn't... I gave her a pellowpet i told her so she could rest her head after a hard day...and it ended just like that....

its not done but i cant take it anymore too much pain.... to be continued