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Unlocking the Door
Pain, time and intimacy
it wasn’t painful, for me,
when it was the silicone
but when I was inside you
myself, completely, almost
a knuckle shy, unaware
and muscles high
i enjoyed myself
and the silicone
but the warmth
you said I had
you let me hold you
I’m afraid of being held
my weight on you
so I think
the death of an erection
I’m inside you and I can’t tell if I’m happy
but you don’t ask
which relieves me
of opening up to you
I’m a wreck
but you make me confident
and i relax
and the poppers
and the muscles
and the trust
I’m euphoric
and relieved by the happiness
I’m happy
and open
and I feel
in this time
there is
and will be
meaning
