So I found myself thinking, how do I know if I love someone,
What if I feel like I love her one day, and then the next day I don’t,
Was it even love in the first place, how do I know,
Does love exist on a spectrum, or is it yes or no scenario,
Can I love someone I’ve never met, can I love someone I know I shouldn’t,
How much of a difference is there between love and infatuation,
Is there a difference between love and infatuation, between love and enmeshment,
Between love and need, between love and hate, between love and a mutual leeching,
What can I learn from love, so far not much, does that mean I’m blind to its teaching,
Have I ever loved, has anyone ever loved me,
Has my definition of love ever coincided with hers,
Have I ever defined love successfully,
No, because love has never successfully defined me,
I’ve been told, ‘you’ll know when you find the one,’
Really, how, is it a magical epiphany,
How do I go about finding this ‘one,’
One in six billion and counting,
Could the ‘one’ be on the other side of the world,
That’s depressing, the odds are against me then,
Or do I create the ‘one,’ do I retrain my brain to be convinced that this is the ‘one,’
Or do I one day tell myself, you’re getting old, now would be a good time to settle down,
Is the ‘one’ like a magnet, where opposites attract,
Or is the ‘one’ like a tessalation, where the pieces are exact,
Or is she like a magnetic tessalation, where everything is only halfway stacked,
Love, the implication is amazing,
Like on a perfect night, star gazing,
But then there’s the clouds, pollution, distractions,
There’s life, death, babies, vaginal contractions,
Sex, an action, unlike love,
Can be operationally defined, can happen without uncertainty,
Can give happiness, can fulfill if thought about the right way,
It over love should be cherished, if I dare so say,
Say, that the Id may trump the superego,
That traveling alone, no, I’d rather we go,
To anywhere, with new people, new places,
Because only the new is alive, the old disappearing traces…