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Happicide
Daydreaming… Like what would we be doing if she were here right now,
Asking: who in their right heart would want us apart? They exist: I wonder how,
Can this be happening? People act strangely as history has noted,
Made life unbearably difficult, then came back and gloated,
And these are the powerful, thought of as wise but their visions are blurred,
And away they keep us, but untainted our love, the magic potion, our holy word,
And the elders preach, we’ll support but please start anew,
Ha. Like they’re helping, rather turning us a darker shade of blue,
Stress in my chest, if a god exists – to it I’ve knelt down,
Saying: let us be one, save me from this imminent, debilitating meltdown,
Yes, this is true, but breakdowns rarely elicit those close to worry,
Feeling fine, this contentedly ignoring, ignorant, insolent and pious judge and jury,
And it affects me so, butchering the words on this paper as they lie bleeding,
I’m quitting the game soon, defense mechanisms constantly receding,
Without her I’m lost, dutifully negligent until I’m once again found,
Stumbling, face cupped in hands, cradling droplets of hurtfulness from the ground,
Facial expressions contorted, positioned in the utmost of sorrow,
I’m dependent upon her, this is love – she makes me hope for a tomorrow,
These parents know little for it will backfire, their project of inoculation,
I don’t grow stronger, rather I feel like sabotaging my bodies circulation,
Not happy, unhappy, possessed, understanding severely lacking,
Zombie-like, pointlessly shuffling – couldn’t care less if I was backtracking,
And tonight, like many previous nights, like many nights to come – I’ve cried,
Others oblivious to the extent of joylessness, to the result: ‘happicide.’
