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Homeless
This may be my last post ever
The anxiety makes it hard to sleep,
The anger makes it hard to focus,
The depression makes it hard to feel happy,
But the fear takes over everything.
What will I do?
Where will I go?
How will I sleep?
Who will end this torment?
When will I be done with this?
Soon my car will be my only solace,
My only safety,
My
Home.
It's not like I haven't been here before,
I got my life back in order,
I was doing really well,
But something always waits for me to fail.
I've always looked at everything with a positive attitude,
No matter the situation I was in,
I knew it would be better,
But now...
I'm at a loss.
I have nobody willing to help me,
Family doesn't care if I'm alive or dead,
As long as I'm not bothering them.
Will I be able to withstand this torment again?
Will it actually break me this time?
Will I end up in the "Dark Place"?
The inescapable walls,
The cold floors,
The emptiness...
You could scream all day and all night,
The only voice you heard was your own,
Echoing, echoing, echoing.
You would feel the pain as the darkness seeped into you,
Pumping in your veins instead of blood,
It was Hatred,
Anger,
Despair,
Lonliness...
A lesser man would have been corrupted,
But I was not that.
I was sure Karma would save me,
And she did.
But the evil stuck around,
Watching,
Waiting,
Biding it's time,
Becoming stronger and stronger until...
You finally fell again,
I fell again,
Now I'm lost,
Nowhere to go.
Nobody can hear me scream,
Nobody wants to help,
I'm a broken product,
Expired,
Dysfuntional,
I AM NOTHING!
Do you know what it's like to not know where you will lay your head next?
When you will eat again?
How you will bathe?
When will you have money to spend?
Not many people do.
I DO!
Words are useless,
If words were worth anything,
I would be a Billionare.
But I'm not,
I'm worthless,
Just like my words.
I help others,
Only to have them turn their backs when I am struggling.
It is growing,
Getting more powerful,
It will take over soon,
And I will be no more,
Until the light begins to shine again,
Then I will be back here again.
