Reflection 2
My Momma told me that it’s no ones fault that my man is in jail.
She told me that no one owes me a thing.
Only him cause on my hand he put a ring.
See its like as I hurt and struggle everyone calls me stupid
Keep telling me I don’t have to do this.
I get through some days a little better than others,
And I try to understand where she is coming from cause I am a mother.
I often tell myself it would be much easier if I didn’t love him.
To just say “fuck it” and throw caution to the wind.
He left me out here to struggle and raise his seed,
He wasn’t thinking about my needs.
Now with every conversation begins with I love you and ends with the same
And every other sentence ends with my name!
He wants me to live by myself
Raise the kids by myself
Eat by myself
Sleep by myself
Cry by myself
Laugh by myself
And even make love by myself.
I often say I don’t want to love him anymore,
But then my inner self ask “are you sure”?
I miss having a man to come home to at night
Strong minded brother to tell me it’s gonna be alright.
My other half in this struggle to survive.
Not to just be called someone wife.
What I don’t understand is if all this I know,
Why is it I can’t seem to let go?