Again it appears that
I have found myself in hell
Everything is beating me into submission
I have brought this damnation upon myself
I can only feel that
I am trapped in hell right now
That I have no way to escape, no solace, no hope
My whole life feels like one big curse
That I neither knew about nor chose
I am afraid of dying because
All I can imagine is hell after wards
I'm sick of living here because
All I experience is hell
I don't know what to do anymore
I feel as if I wake up everyday
To fight a battle that I cannot win
I feel as if I damned myself and
That God will never love me
I feel as if I am a curse to the world
And to those around me
One year into another has only
Brought more things to obsess about, be sad about
And ultimately be terrified of
I can't find anyone else to blame
If God is as you say He is than He would not do this to me
I must be the reason, my sin must be the cause
I've done horrible things since I can remember
This is who I am