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Transitory Thoughts
Being on the Internet and (stupidly) choosing to view commentary on any major website will usually result in anger. There’s inevitably going to be someone, somewhere who openly disagrees with everything that you believe in and, chances are, they will somehow be louder, angrier and more obnoxious than every other user that has preceded them. (Louder here means they just post incessantly. If you can actually hear them you may need to adjust your medication).
It’s easy to jump into that anger and engage it. Whether justified or not, EVERYONE assumes that they are right in almost everything that they do. If they don’t, they find arbitrary reasons to justify what they’re doing/saying. Almost no one can openly admit to being in the wrong without an ulterior motive behind the admission (especially on the Internet). But this isn’t necessarily due to selfishness; it’s because of fear. Fear is tied to self-preservation, sure, but it’s more instinctual and less conscious. Anyone who thinks of human beings as anything more than highly advanced animals simply want to believe that we are “special” and “chosen” by a Higher force that everybody is too afraid of trying to explain, because admitting to being unable to understand or prove the existence of that Higher power leaves us open to doubts. What if we’re wrong? What if death truly does spell the end of our awareness? What if we simply cease to be? Will anyone remember us? Are we even WORTH remembering?
I believe that our experiences are all that color our awareness and our morality, which is why almost every single aspect of life is totally subjective. Fear is what drives violence, because fear is what spawns hatred. You don’t feel threatened by someone who is different than you simply because of things that are cosmetic or dogmatic in nature - you feel threatened because they do not conform to the way that you see everything, and are therefore something that could provoke doubt in your mind. You could have been wrong this entire time, about everything, and they are potential proof of that. If you avoid them, or even get rid of them somehow, that doubt will be removed. You can settle back into being “correct” and feel that familiar, ignorant comfort. Ignorance here does not simply mean “racism” or “homophobia”; it translates to a shield you place in front of yourself to stop the many grey areas that life has to offer from affecting you. Is this wrong? Well, the concept of what is “wrong” is subjective too.
To accept an inherent value or truth in ANYTHING is to accept bias. Someone that came and lived before you established a belief, and you accepted it without proof or reasonable doubt. This equates to somebody, somewhere making an assumption; a generalization, and as any intelligent person knows, generalizations are never infallible and always, essentially, incorrect. It helps to think of life as an infinite series of circles and loops. There is no “right” answer for most of life’s biggest questions, and therefore, no end. But people cannot accept this, and I can understand why. It’s frightening. It implies a total lack of control. Logic states that death is the only true end, and not because it provides some sort of solution to all of the conflict and strife we endure at the hands of the world and each other. Its only result is silence without answers. The arguing will cease because we, who are clamoring and banging on about everything and nothing, will no longer be able to do so. We will cease to exist in the manner that we are accustomed. Whether or not our consciousness goes on is just one of those big questions, one which certainly has no answer.
In the end, there is no reasoning that can temper anger completely. Emotion and logic exist as two totally separate lenses through which we view reality. It’s difficult to mix the perspectives that they provide without muddying what might have been the “truth” at one point or another, but still, we persist and try. And as a result, there will never be an end to the conflict we stir amongst ourselves: members of the same species sharing the same ground and seeing the same events unfold before our eyes, but through differing shades and colors that divert us from things that are too bright, too sharp and too full of contrast. We fear the grey because it is at times too mundane, and at other times too complex. Absolutes are the only language that we, as a collective whole, are able to recognize, because they’re easy to understand.
I imagine life will continue as is until we’re all ready to accept a little ambiguity.
