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237 Prose: North by Chris' Watch
In about two weeks or so, I'll be out of this city. I'll be up north, learning about the area and what makes it what it is. I'll be looking for a new source of income so that I may do what has been planned, and move into a house filled with music and creativity. I'll become thinner, most likely because I won't be eating very well more than anything else, and I'll do what I can to learn what exactly has gone wrong within me. I'll be free to do so because of all of the spare time I'll have. The only person that I'll know starting out is my roommate; which is a good thing, really. It's funny to refer to him that way: roommate. For two months, everything will be left behind. In Rob's apartment, I'll only have my clothes, my laptop and my cell phone. In that time, I'll slowly and quietly learn how to operate a life that is away from the friends and family whom I have known for my entire life.
It's not necessarily an irrational decision; impulsive is really more of an appropriate wording. I have a few thousand in the bank and I'll get a couple more paychecks before heading out. I'll be staying in the apartment rent free and without any of my furniture for two full months, and if I manage to get a job in that time it'll just be that much more money I'll be putting away into my savings. Hopefully I'll be able to find something active or at least somewhat labor intensive. My current workplace has helped me lose so much weight, and I'm a little worried that I may gain some back if I get a really slow or stationary job. Overall though, I'm excited.
This will be something so totally new for me that it will just blow my mind. My thoughts will constantly be preoccupied by the next event while living on my own and I won't have any reason to stress myself out. I'll be a part of an entirely new dynamic, one that will continue to change and expand the longer I stay. I will get back in touch with my creativity and learn more about music than I ever have in any other situation. I have plans, and for the time in ages: I'm not worried about anything. I'm a little nervous, but it's a good kind of nervous. The kind that lets you know that you're about to experience something tremendous.
I'll miss everyone here a great deal, but it really hasn't slowed me down at all. Once away, given some time, I'll be able to lay so many old demons to rest forever. I will no longer compare myself to my peers and feel inadequate, I will leave behind old feelings and grudges, and I will be able to disregard my love for my best friend.
I'm not coming back here until the new, final version of Rob Ventre appears.
I'm going to complete myself up there.
