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Memory and Observation v.9
I'm worried at this point.
My life, essentially, is gaming. I don't really do that much anymore. Things come along that I generally won't attend or leave early from. I still have my friends and aquaintances, but I'm not really super enthusiastic about seeing anyone such as I once was.
You know, honestly, I sleep more then I game. Which just worries me further. This is how it was last year before zoloft kicked my ass.
It's odd. I feel uncomfortable when people I'm close with lay a hand on me. Girls or guys. I've never been like that as far back as I can remember. It's unsettling to me. I also feel like I desperately miss somebody, but I can't think of who it'd be, nor can I tell what kind of significance they had to me. Girlfriend, friend, etc. It's not Amy, nor is it Michelle. It isn't Andrew, especially because he's doing fine and I've gotten high with him in the past few weeks. I don't know.
I keep thinking it's a need for a significant other, but it feels like there's more to it than that.
Maybe I just finally realized that I do, in fact, have to grow up eventually. Maybe I just miss being a stupid kid.
The last thing I need is more pot. That just makes me sad when it wears off.
I'll just give in, and say what I always say: I probably just need somebody to put my arms around.
Know what the worst part is?
That's probably not true. And it probably won't happen.
