Cloud cover

I was startled awake when you happened to pass though my dreams last night...I thought I'd erased them from my half healed soul...

I've been climbing this sheer, rocky cliff side for months, making undeniably triumphant progress, inch by unbelievably slow inch.

I can see the cloud cover inching ever so close as I climb higher still, thinning out and showing me promises that make my tears silently flow down with longing.

I'm stretching my fingers out just to reach some closure; my entire being pushed to its breaking point.

My foot slips, rocks loosen and crumble away, lungs deflating from the sudden punch of lost hope; stolen freedom.

I'm sliding back down at a dizzying pace, never to touch or feel that angelic rush of renewing energy that was me moving towards finally breaking the tether between us. Your face shimmers and reflects back at me from the quickly dissipating cloud cover as I relapse and collide painfully back into the more pleasant, unwanted memories...they make me want to smile in remembrance, but I can't...I won't...I'll promise myself until the day i breathe my last stubborn  breath that I never really needed you, that you were just deadly sweet poison disguised as a beautiful teenage boy with baby blue eyes, but I'll dream about you every night anyways.You were my first explanation of what love was...of what it could become.

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