As the deathly, Icey slices of the shattered glass fly towards my face, unzipping the skin…
I knew. They. Were. Here.
The cold sweat pours down my face as I search for a plan…
I can’t hear myself think!
The deafening sound of bullets showering on your cover
The yelling of young men
…and the last shrieks of the female nurses, who have now fallen
contributes to the foul smell
The foul smell of the empty shells where the souls lived.
“Fuck!”
My long hesitation on the battlefield has paid off…
O’, the exquisite beauty of the sharp pain
One glance down…to view the left shoulder
As the metal drowns into my flesh…
Harsh Rubber of their soles thuds
Thuds. Sound surrounds, me
Up
Only to see the points of those guns
Only to see the strings of life
Face. Me.
BANG!
-Sachi Ruaya
*Written within the time limit of 15 minutes (phew)
Author's Notes/Comments:
STUDENT REFLECTION:
I would consider this poem as one of my most abstract, descriptive works.
I used my critical thinking to choose the appropriate words, text structure and ‘story’ structure since I strived to emotionally impact the reader with the words, metaphors and other linguistic features.
I have taken many risks such as using sentence structure in which the reader may have to think deeply to comprehend the meaning using the context. *At the end of this poem I have placed the translated meaning of any statements that may have confused the reader.
Skills Discussion
I have deliberately structured the sentences to enhance the text according to the audience and purpose, successfully involved the reader by the use of literary devices such as metaphor, simile, onomatopoeia, abstract and technical terms appropriately in context, control and manipulate the linguistic and structural components of writing to enhance clarity and impact and chose to manipulate or abandon conventional text forms to achieve impact.
