I knew I COULD love you
the first time that I saw
your exquisite face.
I knew I SHOULD love you
when you wrote to me,
"my sweetie cock sucker,
do not believe I think bad thinks
about you why you be gay."
I knew I WOULD love you
when you promised to buy me
"a long car with a pilot."
I knew I DID love you
when you up and disappeared
and I went ballistic with fear
- when,
for the first time in my life,
I knew I could sacrifice it
for that of another -
when a single sharp word
from your impossible lips
could puncture my heart
( though you’d scramble to mend it
- better than before).
I love you
and,
merciful universe after all,
you love me too.
That life could be this kind
- good God, who knew?