Author Information
Alone In A Crowded Room
You see how they cling to you?
Remember how I did the same?
And how now I isolate?
You went from love bombing me to yanking all but a memory of it and hoping Ill survive off the fumes.
I think you've only got a finite amount of love to give and I fell of the list.
I miss your brain.
You never show it anymore.
Now I get fragmented opinions of podcasters and reality stars. The depths of our conversations are akin to drought.
Blaming the kids is a crutch. I spend more time with them than you do and Im still madly in love with you. Crave you. If you say you feel the same way: You. Are. Straight. Up. Lying. Ive FELT, deep in my bones, how you love. This isnt it. I get that I suck. But its heavily because Ive had my happy place sucked away. You.
This isnt an attack. Im not looking for an apology. Im not even looking for a response. I just need to get it out before it finally succeeds in rotting me from the inside.
The jealousy I feel makes me resent the children. One cries and you run to them. Mine have fallen silent to a never ending Bombardment of substances as I chase the feeling of warmth inside myself again. An enveloping fog that allows me to hide from my sorrow and loneliness.
Sitting in my room, by myself, feels less lonely than sitting 2 inches away from you.
