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with an idea
She was in love with an idea,
A failure,
Who would do better.
He had to learn to love himself
Even if he was a failure,
Who couldn’t do better.
She wasn’t a perfect mother
But on Mother’s Day
She was the best.
He was not worth her time,
But on his birthday,
She still remembered him.
She had shopping sprees
Of artificial shoes
To cover up these shoes
Of calloused skin
She walked.
She tried to accessorize a tired look
And not pay much attention to the bags in her eyes.
She tried to think people were pretending
When they said her kids
Were doing bad.
She tried to laugh
A winner’s hearty laugh
When she explained
She had to be the father, too.
And she hoped she didn’t have red eyes
After crying for this long.
They were in love
With a mother.
A woman
With a sore womb.
They fucked guys
Late at night
Just to test her claims.
They tried thinking nice thoughts
Just to prepare
For the eulogy to come.
