my victory

I had to lose him

Just to claim my victory.

I had to chase him off

Just to prove I could handle the closeness,

And I had to handle the closeness

Just so I could avoid having to prove anything.

I had to take the anything

And make it everything I wanted.

I had to rehearse what I wanted

Because I wasn’t really sure what I wanted.

I had to fight with what I wanted

Because was it what I really wanted?

I had to look into his eyes

And imagine the uninhibited

Just to inhibit the tears.

In the end I had to look away

Just so I could see him

The way he was.

The way he was, was no different

My eyes are just more honest now.

The honesty is understood

Just never spoken,

So we stick to polite speaking,

Maybe even hugging,

If proximity is considered hugging,

Because that is all I ever wanted,

It’s just too bad that’s all I was ever given.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

please critique this poem.

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