The incredible chicken

Last year I was zapped by a large amount of gamma radiation.
Now when I get angry, I go through a startling transformation.
But instead of becoming a large creature, I become a chicken.
When this happens, people always give me a lickin'.
When I change, people almost die from laughter.
And then I sure do pay the price after.
Every time I return to human, I've been beaten black and blue.
When people call me a chicken, it's one hundred percent true.
One guy nearly rung my neck and another plucked me bald.
I'm incapable of self defense because I'm less than one foot tall.
My transformations are embarrassing but they're incredible.
I must be careful because after transforming, I become edible.
I don't want to be sold to KFC, that's for damn sure.
I'll give you a billion dollars if you can find a cure!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a fictional poem.

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