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I thought IT had died, obviously not,

Ive been thinking more and more about my release,

Knowing I cant makes it that much harder,

Its been a year almost since I last slipped,

Every night we are apart ITs been stabbing me in the mind,

I've tried to ignore IT,

Tried to kill IT like my friend,

But ITs strong, persistent, determined to stay.



I know if I slipped,

I could lose the one I love and care about most,

Fall back into old habits,

I'm trying not to but ITs strong.



As my tears fall and my heart breaks,

I can only picture my lovers face full of pain,

Telling me not to.



A year is a long time, especially without a release,

Im only happy with my lover and best friends,

I rarely see them,

My heart breaks when we arent together,

It hurts so much, you wouldnt believe.



I want to, even though I cant,

Its not fair, I feel like I need it,

It feels just out of my reach,

I can feel myself falling down,

Theres nothing to grab on the walls to stop me,

I cant hold on much longer,

I need some help,

Pull me back up again,

Take me away from the cold black void.