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INT – PANCAKE HUT TABLE SIXTEEN

TITLE: PANCAKE HUT.  Thursday, AUGUST 24, 2000.  1:35AM

TABLE SIXTEEN

Vantage point throughout the scene is from JEFF’S eyes.

Straw in the Coke slowly drops to the table.  

Short snippet of ‘Ice Ice Baby’ plays.  

JEFF’S hands empty several Equal packets into his coffee, 

JEFF’S hand stirs it with a spoon.

JEFF (V.O.)

It’s still too hot to drink.  

JEFF sets down the pen and brings the Coke glass toward his lips, gulping down the bubbling liquid.  

Glass lowers to the table.

PANCAKE HUT 

Hand-held camera rises.

Opening riffs to Sweet’s ‘Little Willy’ begin to play and the camera pans towards the men’s bathroom.  

PANCAKE HUT BATHROOM

JEFF’S hand pushes the door open and the camera view pans towards the urinal.  

Camera then pans down and we see only the top of JEFF’S belly, the urinal and the floor.  

Suddenly a stream of urine shoots out from beneath his belly into the urinal.  

JEFF (V.O.)(CONT’D)

Why, whenever I’m at home, or, worse yet, I’m at someone else’s home, do I miss?  

The stream continues for an extra long time as the music continues.  

JEFF (V.O.)(CONT’D)

Perhaps all homes should be equipped with urinals that extend from the floor up the wall.  

Camera pans to look directly at the empty tile bathroom wall for five seconds.  

JEFF (V.O.)(CONT’D)

A ceasefire in the war of the sexes would occur because the “put the lid down debate” would finally reach an accord!

Camera then pans to the left and there is some graffiti of a HUGE PENIS WITH TEARDROP SQUIRTS erupting from it.

JEFF (V.O.)(CONT’D)

I’ll probably call it a night and walk home.