PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

by DaddyO

The following well-intentioned quote from a FetLifer from a comment on this blog struck a chord with me. I understand that it was not directed at me per se, so let it be clear, I mean no ill intent or hostile provocation towards them with this blog. I am just giving my counter-opinion...

"Be skeptical of people you hardly know who offer excessive 'help' and 'support' during a time when you're vulnerable. Often they expect payback you never agreed to...another quid-pro-quo." ~FetLifer

This quote, coupled with my introspective nature questioning some of those around me calling me a "predator" inspired these seemingly tongue-in-cheek, yet absolutely truthful requests:

To anyone, please help me define who is "vulnerable" because apparently by helping and supporting them it turns me into a "predator" expecting something in return (assumedly, sexual or other BDSM play).

To those on my friends list, please PM me with a short list of local women who aren't vulnerable so I can choose from among them for my playmates. Or if it is easier, a short list of the vulnerable ones so I can stay clear.

To those who read this on Kinky & Popular* please make a list of identifiable traits of non-vulnerable people.

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up." ~Neil Gaiman

Remember, according to Mr. Gaiman, one requisite is they cannot be susceptible to love.

And show me examples of who these vulnerable people can interact with and receive help, guidance and play from, so when I am tempted to interact, I can give them those people's names instead.

Perhaps I can help define the vulnerable person for everyone...

More than once I have been accused of being "predatory." This is because in addition to courting playmates of all ages, I offer excessive help and support to people in the community perceived by other people in the community as "vulnerable." The problem is, in my accusers' minds, is this "vulnerable time" is the time from age 18-45 and these vulnerable people are always female (basically anyone who even remotely resembles the ideal age and gender I fetishize).

I hope to let the record speak for itself: I offer help and support to anyone of any age at any time. Yes, people over 30. Yes, any gender. I am not sure if my support is excessive, and I surely do not go out of my way to find vulnerable people, but along the way some will make it my way.

I showed an early draft of this writing to my roommate for his input and editing skills. He sent me back the following observation:

"It has always astonished me that so many presume that women in the fetish community have a mental and emotional age of 10. Perhaps they make this presumption about women in general, not just women in our community. Feminist? I don't think so." ~DaddyO's ex-roommate 

And what if these "vulnerable" people find me? Am I supposed to run away when I may be able to offer helpful BDSM concepts and advice to them?

And, let's call a spade a spade...

What if I can offer something more? Dare I say it without sounding too conceited: what if I can offer them excitement through BDSM play or even sex? Am I supposed to run away then too?

For me and my partner(s), the "expectation" of some sort of "payback" is not assumed. It is negotiated. That is where the difference lies. And with every partner, young, old, newbie or seasoned pro, I negotiate.

At least there is some hope...

"Be skeptical of people who issue unsolicited warnings about others you have yet to meet. Go out of your way to meet these people because you make your own determinations about people- thank-you-very-much." ~a different FetLifer

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*But unfortunately it won't make K&P because it addresses a problem directly and attempts a solution.