PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

by Jeph Johnson

150 pages
of early 21st century
paper magazine
literature
lay in front of me
at work
to deal with
after I tear
the cover off
to return to
the publisher
-
51 pages
breeze through the air
(over one-third)
en route to the recycle bin:
skinny printed
visions cutting wildly
fall out of their blouses
as the pages turn
with the ceiling fan
-
I pick one up:
even if
just for poem fodder
....
1 colored
contact lenses
(even pink)
....
2/3 six
multi-racial
mono-beautiful
women
(in underwear)
....
4/5 is
it a man?
no, a woman...
wearing a watch
I will never afford
....
6/7 that
amazingly
beautiful
teen movie star's
flowing hair
begs me
to purchase
shampoo
(and I am bald!)
....
8 a
man lifting weights,
a woman doing sit-ups
and a car parked outside
(I must choose the car
for the ad to work)
....
9 SUMMER
'02 contents
page one
on page nine
....
10 a
lot of
blue ink
surrounding
ralph
....
11 oh,
she must be
wearing
ralph
....
12 VOL.
6 NUMBER 5
here they are;
the rest
of the contents
....
13 gloss
I am less
tempted to buy
than lick
off the lips
it glistens from
....
14 (despite
no men's
magazines
being called
DICK)
the
title page:
JANE
  ....
15 petal
bliss
deodorant
....
16 more
(less-important)
photographers,
page editors
and reporters
and a jangly
Lilith guitar player
announcing the release
of her new collection
of angst on the side
....
17 some
brown creme
(sorry, "bronze")
....
18 lemons
tell me
from a tree
they are
real citrus
(I knew that)
....
19 Ed's
post-feminist
ramblings
....
20/21 a
swoosh
reserved for
athletes
....
22 hate
mail
....
23 hairstyles
from 15 years
ago try to
make
come backs
....
24/25 battles
rage still
over smoke:
cool or cruel?
....
26/27 VW
ad
that
takes
up
2
pages
....
28 hate
male
this time
and polls
....
29 posing
in an elevator
in a lustfully
inter-racial
embrace
....
30 jewels
sparkle above
a web address
and a telephone
number
....
31 things
Hollywood
really doesn't
want us to know
but she will
tell us anyhow
....
32 gel
to rid pubic
shaving bumps:
will it also work
for my face?
....
33 non-rhyming
interview
with a hip-hop
mega-star
....
34 if
I look close:
alcohol
(but it could be
anything)
....
35 interview
(only ten questions)
with a
race-car driver
who is no doubt
handsome
....
36 round
mint with a
hole in the middle
....
37 more
hints for
hip young
women
....
38 automobile
ad number 3
and counting
....
39 pretty-boy
actor (what's
he been up to?)
....
40 mascara
and one
(no doubt
symmetrical,
if we could
see its twin)
blue eye
....
41 something
more to get
a woman
shit-faced drunk
....
42 Q&A
leftover from
the pretty-boy
and the last drops
from the drink
....
43/44 eau
de toilette
FOR MEN!
(gift idea
no less)
....
45 entertainment
poll where
we get to find out
who the readers
surmise is the
most well-endowed
....
46 lotion
for a lean
teen body
....
47 there
he is: Mister
Endowment
....
48 something
for hair,
but starfish & clams
have no hair
....
49 more
products running
the gamut
for skin and hair
....
50 subscription
forms fall
down the
fallopian tubes
....
51 tampons
for the bleeding
to stop