Author Information
Letters
I wonder how thoroughly you read my emails....Are they something that doesn't deserve a second glance? Or are they perfectly fine to be filed away until I bring them up?
I don't write them for my health... I share with you things i think you might enjoy... things I find interesting...or relevant...
I try to give you a glimpse of my thoughts without gabbing on and on about them.
I try not to nag.. I try not to complain or fight unnecessarily.. I try hard to what avail?
You say you think of me .. you try to think ten steps ahead.. but maybe you forget to think about the present moment.
The now you can never get back later and the damage you cause with silence or ignorance whichever is not to be swept under the rug.
I once told you my favorite genre is tragic love the impossible improbable sort thats all consuming and you knew not of what I spoke...
This leads me to believe you've never been in love that way.. the kind that takes up residence in your heart despite all odds...its agonizing to say the least
The kind that I thought was dead...the only kind of love that i believe can be called real love ...
You weaseled your way into my heart only to burrow holes in it...
When I love... I love with all my heart...and only those I love can cause me heartache
When I hate... I hate with all my being... it usually grows out of resentment..it lets the demon within take control
I don't want to just love you... I want to be in love with you... I want you to be in love with me... the kind of in love that cheesy movies are made of...
The kind that you sneak out to see the person because you simply have to... the kind that makes you want to share every waking moment...and never sleep for fear of missing a moment...
The best part about falling for someone is always the beginning... its new and interesting.. you don't take anything for granted...you want more...
True love is the kind that hurts physically if you lose it and most importantly the kind that I'm afraid doesn't exist... at least not for long...
Perhaps we got it wrong?
Sure we were born different, raised different, loved different, taught different, suffered differently..but you were so convinced we are very much the same.
We are different.. no not the opposites attract different .. the kind of different that is hard to get over unless there is compromise and consideration.
I'm not saying you are bad... or bad for me.. I'm saying that I can't keep reaching out to you when you should be reaching out for me.
I'm not the type of person to cry openly .. I'm not the type of person to beg or plead.. I won't keep telling you what is wrong.. I will simply pull away
I try to be vocal I understand that you are not a mind reader but at the same time I cant keep saying this is what upsets me...eventually this = you.
Its always easier to see peoples mistakes when they are not your own..
This is not to say that you haven't done things to make me happy but for some reason the bad stuff leaves a greater impression...or maybe it happens more often than it should?
I'd make sure every time I called only things that made you smile would come out of my mouth to ease your stress
Maybe I want more than you are capable of giving...or maybe I just want too much...maybe I want you to be something or someone you are not...
If that is the case tell me... We can cut our losses before another year goes by...
I love you but things cannot continue like this ....I tell you not to tell me sorry for a reason because it loses value.. there needs to be change
