so many barriers have
wobbled
tumbled
crumbled
the stark landscape
stands pathetic
around me
fitful sleep
gives way to
the returned wounds of thought
sensitivity is
a sharp double blade
stabbing its rusted shaft
repeatedly into
the warm recesses of my
innermost being
I am a prisoner
of my own mind's
bitter pollutants
the bright spots are there
but they stand so small and
silent by comparison
if I could but reverse
that trend
and pull those bright spots
closer
then perhaps
I could allow the recent events
that have lashed me
to pieces in their cold and
disbelieving strangeness
to slip thoughtlessly into
their own nullification
then perhaps this day
could hold me less
like a stranger
and more so like a friend
in a prayer filled breath
I whisper
this too will pass...................
(Aug 10, 2011 826am)
Author's Notes/Comments:
I have had a rough 3 days. where to begin, found a starving dog on the side of the road, knew I couldn't keep it but had to pick it up as I could not leave it there. Tried desperately to find a no kill shelter but the more I researched they sounded like total hell, such deplorable living conditions. Finally through many tears took the dog to the local shelter only to be misguided and had to end up taking it to two more shelters before they would take it which tore me up knowing I am driving many miles to likely send this dog to its eventual death. Cried so much Monday that I gave myself a headache to end all headaches. Got my spirits raised when a friend said she would take her but once we found out from the shelter what sort of dog it is we learned that this dog is deadly to cats as it is a walker tree hound. My friend over much painful anguish finally said she was sorry but she couldn't take it after all cause she feared it would kill her two cats. Last night we sat up together and brain stormed and found a web site to post the dog's information and picture along with a desperate plea from me for it to be adopted from that shelter before Thursday at 430 pm when they will be able to legally put it to sleep and somewhere in there I lost a person I thought was a friend and I am still speechless about that but I guess I didn't really know that person and they really didn't know me but still anytime someone writes wretched and hate filled things about me it hurts but oh well I am a big girl you can't have everyone liking you and maybe I was doing something that really annoyed this person but with all that I had been going through that was the last thing I needed and I am trying to cope but its a slow fog of pain and disbelief I am going through. I saw a ton of butterflies Sunday ( the afternoon I found the dog) and Monday the afternoon I had to drive it to three shelters and I've always seen that as a sign that God is with me as I asked him once when I was so down to send me butterflies as I love them so and that would let me know he is around me and trying to brighten me up so for me that was something to hold onto in those trying times. I hope I don't bum everyone out with this poem. I am usually so hopeful and upbeat but I am human and I get down too. These last few days have been extraordinary circumstances too that I have had to endure emotionally. I pray all of you are having a much better week. Thanks for reading and once again please forgive the pathetic nature of this poem but poetry is all I have to work through difficult emotional times......................
