A PITIFUL MUSE

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JOURNAL # 40

it would be nice
to receive a letter
in my teens and
early 20's
I must confess
I had many a pen pal
I use to joke
I had two personal life mottoes
I THRIVE AT THREE AM
and
I AM A PEN PAL'S DREAM
I enjoy the low cost of email
and the immediacy of its use
but I have been unable to cultivate
email pals similar to those of the
hand written variety's kind
as most choose
in their unintentional neglect
to perpetuate its abuse
it is a lost art
many would rather do most anything
else than reply back to my long newsy
letter to them
and yet should I not write for even a
short duration
I am grilled like the Gestapo
with questions of
How come you haven't written to me?
Are you alright?
Why the silent treatment M?
that always gives my mind a sharp
mental slap
I always think back to my Grandma
and her wisdom in saying
IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A FRIEND
YOU MUST FIRST BE A FRIEND
well, I've been a friend to a whole slew
of varying people over the years
and many claim to care for me
a good deal
but as Grandma also use to say
YOUR ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER
THAN YOUR WORDS
so I must in turn question their
own flowery words
when stacked against their minimal
actions
and in doing so
I must conclude
their actions take the lead
and once again
I find myself
logging on line
with no reply written from anyone
replying to a letter from me
such is life
'A Pitiful Muse'
I must truly be indeed......................
(April 21,2011 508am)

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem comes from my regular shock at discovering when I write someone a very nice, and very thoughtful letter more times than not I get either a very minimal reply back or no reply at all. It kind of makes you feel like you are writing to nobody. I so miss my postal letter pen pals of old as they always replied cause they understood how the system worked. If someone takes the time to write you a thoughtful letter full of information, humor and encouragement you reply back in kind. I think I am going to have to reassess my writing and give as good as I get and stop putting myself out for people who take me for granted and do it regularly and believe it's okay to ignore or very minimally reply back to a very nice well thought out letter from me. Looking back now, I realize it's mostly my fault for foolishly thinking if someone took the time to write me such a long in depth letter I would do my utmost to return the favor to them in kind as I would be touched that they took so much time to write to me. I have decided I will not go over board anymore as it tends to make me feel I'm doing too much and that it is taken for granted that even if the person minimally replies back that they can rely upon good ole Melissa to send them yet another stellar correspondence and all will be well. This poem hails from my general discontent and it is meant for no particular individual but at a vast majority who have been guilty of such callous behavior over the last 11 plus years.

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