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I esteem
one
whom
I feel
esteems likely
another
in far more high regard
than myself
his adoration for me
grows paper thin
while his need to keep her
memory alive
never ends
she's not your competition
he vehemently
proclaims
yet he shoves his once great love
for her
and her once great love  for him
into my face
time and time again
he does what he would not like
me to do to him
yet cannot see the pain his
actions inflict
instead he calls my hurt feelings
silly
and again we have another
painful blood letting
of this heart's conflict
I do not mind that he once loved
another so very dearly
that shows a truly tender deep side
to a sensitive soul
but she's been dead from this world
half his life
it feels like he needs to bring her
memory back to life and have others
hold it up with him and praise what a
wonderful perfect love they once had
I cannot do that as a woman who loves
him
I could have I have confessed before
but only if I were just his dear friend
I wish he could understand
but from his actions I feel his
ageless love for her
out weighs his great love for me
and I lose him to her timeless memory
every time he resurrects her in his
heart and mind
through poetry of old
mined from diaries saved from
that far back time................
(Feb. 19, 2010 607am)